SATs, half term, and the relentless juggling act

This week I want to talk about the enormous pressure that’s on our children when they’re expected to take part in things like SATs.

We’re now in the final summer term. Our kids are getting tired, and there are impending transitions looming from September – whether that’s going up a year, changing classrooms and teachers, or the much bigger leap into secondary school. And in amongst all of that, if you have a Year 6, you’re also dealing with SATs.

Exams that our children are expected to take so the government can get a picture of how well they’re being taught. Sounds quite reasonable, doesn’t it? But for many of our children, just getting up and getting into school each day is already enough. And I know for lots of you, that’s not even possible – because there are so many children in our community who simply can’t attend at all.

But if you do have a child who is managing to go in – whether they’re masking, whether they’re navigating sensory processing, unexpected demands, the miscommunication and misinterpretation that comes with social interactions – they are already carrying so much. They have this huge transition looming, and now SATs week on top of it.

We live with a constant level of high anxiety in our house. It never fully comes down. And of course, something like SATs is one of those things that just piques it all over again.

We are fortunate that school make lots of adaptations – not sitting in the hall with everyone else, having their own room, extra time if needed, refreshments, someone to read through the questions with them. And rightly so, because when everyone starts from a different place, we all need different things to be able to succeed. That’s just basic equity.

But all the goodwill and support in the world doesn’t mean the anxiety won’t become incredibly high – particularly when you have a PDA child and you’re placing expectations on them.

In our situation, all expectation to even participate has been completely removed. It’s been made fully optional. But here’s the thing – peers will be taking part. And not participating makes that child stand out, be different. So regardless of what you say, they feel the expectation anyway, and put the pressure on themselves. Which could well flip into complete avoidance and an inability to take part at all. And honestly? That would be absolutely fine. There is zero pressure from us.

I personally feel that our children are pushed far too hard, far too early – and that goes for all children, let alone neurodivergent ones. But that’s a whole other conversation.

What we are seeing right now is a rise in anxiety, which ripples through everything. You watch it spread to the interactions with siblings. The snappiness increases, the tolerance for other demands drops. Things that had been accepted for months are suddenly too much. So we’re stripping everything back, going back to basics, making home as safe and low-demand as possible so that our PDA child can cope with the additional weight of SATs week – if they choose to take part.

And then of course, the half term holiday is coming. Which should be a break, after an intense week of exams. But we all know that a change of routine brings its own dysregulation – the uncertainty of what each day looks like, whether you’ll be able to get out, whether places will be too busy to manage.

We’re planning a trip, which brings a whole other level of complexity. I’m trying to give our PDA child enough information to know what to expect, without overloading – because if they know too much in advance, it almost becomes a demand in itself. At the same time, our other autistic child needs to know every single detail. The timings, exactly where we’re going, what food will be there, everything. So I’m currently doing a lot of co-regulation alongside what I can only describe as military-level precision planning.

Which means, in order to show up as the parent I want to be, I really need to make sure I’m looking after myself and trying to regulate my own nervous system in the middle of all of it.

If you’re in the UK, do your children take part in SATs? And if you’re reading from further afield, I’m curious whether your children face similar high-stakes testing at this age. Either way – how are you feeling about the upcoming school break? Are you planning a getaway, or hunkering down to rest?

Either way – do whatever is right for your family. Take care of yourself.