The forgotten children

I created a post on Facebook this week that went – I guess you’d say – viral?!

At the time of writing, it’s had over 1.9k reactions, 324 comments, and 853 shares.

I think that’s testament to just how strongly this hits home for so many parents in a similar situation. It’s something that’s been on my mind for a while, as I start to worry more and more about the future and wonder how we’ll navigate things.

Here’s what I shared:

There are hundreds – no, thousands – of children right now who are struggling in mainstream school because their needs just aren’t being met. They’re anxious, overwhelmed, often masking all day just to get through. They come home exhausted, their self-esteem in pieces. They’re coping – but not thriving.

The problem is, so many of these kids are too specialist for mainstream… but not specialist enough for a specialist placement. They’re the ones who fall through the cracks – the “SEN-betweeners.”

Special school places are reserved for the most extreme cases – the children who are completely out of school, in crisis, or showing such extreme behaviour that the system has to take notice.

But what about the ones who are still attending – even though it’s breaking them? What about the ones who are falling apart quietly?

These are the forgotten children. Not thriving. Often not even happy. Just stuck.

And as parents, we feel helpless. Because unless our child reaches crisis point – unless they stop coping completely – it’s like nobody listens.

This is where we are right now with one of our children. Our other child, the one who reached crisis and couldn’t attend for years, finally got a place in a specialist school. But this one? Not “extreme enough.” Not “making enough noise.” Not upsetting the system enough to be seen.

So we stand by and watch. We see them cope less and less. We lose a little more of them every day.

We’re lucky – we have a wonderful mainstream primary that listens and tries. But what about next year? The year after? What about secondary?

How do we keep doing this? How do we make sure both of our children get what they’re legally entitled to when there aren’t enough places, enough funding, or enough understanding?

Because right now… it’s not fair. And it’s breaking families who are already hanging on by a thread.

If this sounds familiar – you’re not alone.

You can read and join the conversation here on Facebook – the comments are full of parents echoing the same fears, heartbreak, and exhaustion.