When “fine” at school isn’t really fine

When my child was still in mainstream education, they were an expert masker.

At school they looked happy, compliant, even sociable. They smiled, joined in, did as they were told. On the surface, they seemed fine.

But the moment we got home, it would unravel. Their nervous system was shot to pieces. The overwhelm came out in explosive ways – hitting, screaming, climbing the furniture, throwing things. They simply couldn’t hold it in any longer.

And yet, school couldn’t reconcile the two pictures: the quiet, sensitive child they saw in class, and the distressed, volatile child I was supporting at home. It was like they didn’t believe me – and I know for many parents, they actually aren’t believed. Some are even blamed.

The truth is, masking is not sustainable. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting. It chips away at mental health and self-esteem until children reach breaking point. My child hit crisis point very early in their school journey – and I know many of you are living this too.

That’s why I’ve created something I wish I’d had back then:

Understanding Masking in PDA and Autism – A Guide for Schools

It pulls together what masking is, why children do it, the damage it can cause, and how schools can help. Something you can literally hand over and say:
“This is what I’ve been trying to explain all along.”

If you have an expert masker, please use it. Share it with school. Share it with anyone in your network who needs it. Because these children need understanding, not disbelief.