The day school broke our trust I’ve seen this come up on social media recently and it dug up a particular memory for me. Even now, I still feel really deeply affected by it. It was one of the more traumatic things that happened – for both my child and me. So many parents go […]
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The day I pulled the plug Today I’m going to share a moment with you that, even now, brings up shame, guilt and remorse. I’m sharing it because I know so many of us find ourselves in situations we never thought we’d be in as parents. This was several years ago, back when we were
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When your child goes straight for the jugular There’s something we don’t talk about much as parents of neurodivergent – and especially PDA – children. Our children seem to instinctively know how to push our buttons. It’s like they can sense our weak spot and go straight for it. In PDA circles you’ll sometimes hear
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The 3-question pause: the tool I gave school but needed myself Around this time about six years ago, in the thick of trying to get school to understand my child, I sent them a list of practical tips. It was born out of exhaustion – trying to advocate for them, trying to meet their needs
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When “fine” at school isn’t really fine When my child was still in mainstream education, they were an expert masker. At school they looked happy, compliant, even sociable. They smiled, joined in, did as they were told. On the surface, they seemed fine. But the moment we got home, it would unravel. Their nervous system
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Why birthdays can be tricky for PDAer’s It was a birthday in our house this week, and this is what one child wrote on the other’s card: “Looser!!! Wow, you’re another year to death. Love from [name]. P.S. Give me money.” Now obviously, this made us laugh. Luckily, they’ve reached a stage where they can
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When is avoidance just avoidance – and when is it PDA? I’ve seen a few conversations recently in PDA Facebook groups where parents are trying to figure out whether what they’re seeing is PDA, or whether it’s another kind of avoidance. It got me reflecting on what that difference feels like in my own life,
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The exhausting flip side of PDA I’ve been thinking a lot this week about a side of PDA that doesn’t get talked about enough. We know about avoiding demands – but what about when our PDAers aren’t just avoiding them, they’re making them? And not just the odd request, but constant, relentless demands that can
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Some weeks just take everything you’ve got A couple of years ago, we went to a family event. I did all the prep – made accommodations, had a plan. My child seemed to manage well at the time. Smiling. Chatting. Joining in. But on the way home, everything fell apart. That’s the bit people don’t
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When parenting a PDAer flips everything upside down Parenting a PDA child changes the way you see everything. All the things you thought were important as a parent – routines, rules, the advice in the books and from well-meaning professionals – suddenly don’t seem to fit anymore. You start questioning everything you once believed about
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