When your PDAer becomes the demanding one Something that gets talked about a lot with PDA is demand avoidance. But there’s something else that goes on, often behind closed doors, that isn’t as widely talked about, understood, or even named. And that is the tendency of a PDAer, when dysregulated and distressed, not just to […]
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When is avoidance just avoidance – and when is it PDA? I’ve seen a few conversations recently in PDA Facebook groups where parents are trying to figure out whether what they’re seeing is PDA, or whether it’s another kind of avoidance. It got me reflecting on what that difference feels like in my own life,
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The exhausting flip side of PDA I’ve been thinking a lot this week about a side of PDA that doesn’t get talked about enough. We know about avoiding demands – but what about when our PDAers aren’t just avoiding them, they’re making them? And not just the odd request, but constant, relentless demands that can
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Some weeks just take everything you’ve got A couple of years ago, we went to a family event. I did all the prep – made accommodations, had a plan. My child seemed to manage well at the time. Smiling. Chatting. Joining in. But on the way home, everything fell apart. That’s the bit people don’t
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When parenting a PDAer flips everything upside down Parenting a PDA child changes the way you see everything. All the things you thought were important as a parent – routines, rules, the advice in the books and from well-meaning professionals – suddenly don’t seem to fit anymore. You start questioning everything you once believed about
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