When your child goes straight for the jugular There’s something we don’t talk about much as parents of neurodivergent – and especially PDA – children. Our children seem to instinctively know how to push our buttons. It’s like they can sense our weak spot and go straight for it. In PDA circles you’ll sometimes hear […]
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The exhausting flip side of PDA I’ve been thinking a lot this week about a side of PDA that doesn’t get talked about enough. We know about avoiding demands – but what about when our PDAers aren’t just avoiding them, they’re making them? And not just the odd request, but constant, relentless demands that can
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When parenting a PDAer flips everything upside down Parenting a PDA child changes the way you see everything. All the things you thought were important as a parent – routines, rules, the advice in the books and from well-meaning professionals – suddenly don’t seem to fit anymore. You start questioning everything you once believed about
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When life felt relentless I spent a long time feeling like I couldn’t leave the house. My career was gone. Most of my time was spent co-regulating with my child, who was barely in school. On a good day, I might manage the drive to their alternative provision. But if they felt they couldn’t go,
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Not every parent is looking forward to summer Let’s have an honest conversation. Not all parents are happy or excited about the school holidays. For some, they bring dread. Panic. That rising anxiety as you wonder how you’re going to get through the next six weeks. It doesn’t matter whether your child is currently in
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Why tricks don’t work – and what really does Yesterday morning I was lucky. My husband did the school run, which meant I had a little pocket of time to myself – a rare thing. So I decided to walk the dogs. As I walked, I took some slow, deep breaths and ran through one
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When your child needs your nervous system to cope I used to joke that I couldn’t even go to the loo without a small shadow following me. But it wasn’t really funny. My child, who has a PDA profile, relied on me as their external nervous system. They needed constant engagement to feel safe. Unless
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When friendships fade quietly… One of the hardest things I didn’t expect about parenting a neurodivergent child is how friendships can quietly fall away. No big argument. No clear ending. Just… silence. I opened up to someone I thought was a close friend. I shared the hardest parts – the violence from my own child
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Moments that make it all worthwhile We’re away at the moment, having a little family holiday and I wanted to share something close to my heart. It’s been quite the experience for the boys – for all of us, really. There were definitely moments where we weren’t sure how it would go. A few wobbles,
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I never thought we’d do this… Next week, we’re taking our boys out of school and going on a family holiday. Abroad. On a plane. For the first time ever. Not during half-term. Not during the summer holidays. Because that’s simply not an option for our family. And yes, we’ll probably be fined. And yes,
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