The impact on siblings of raising a PDA child I want to talk about something that often sits quietly in the background for many of us, but carries a huge emotional weight. The impact that a volatile home life can have on a sibling, when you’re raising a neurodivergent child, especially a child with a […]
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Holding it all together when the world starts again Two weeks off for Christmas and New Year and I actually found myself looking forward to getting back to something resembling a normal routine. The break was lovely, it really was, but it was also over-stimulating, demanding, full of co-regulation, noise, emotional energy, big feelings, crossed
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The day I pulled the plug Today I’m going to share a moment with you that, even now, brings up shame, guilt and remorse. I’m sharing it because I know so many of us find ourselves in situations we never thought we’d be in as parents. This was several years ago, back when we were
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When your child goes straight for the jugular There’s something we don’t talk about much as parents of neurodivergent – and especially PDA – children. Our children seem to instinctively know how to push our buttons. It’s like they can sense our weak spot and go straight for it. In PDA circles you’ll sometimes hear
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The 3-question pause: the tool I gave school but needed myself Around this time about six years ago, in the thick of trying to get school to understand my child, I sent them a list of practical tips. It was born out of exhaustion – trying to advocate for them, trying to meet their needs
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When is avoidance just avoidance – and when is it PDA? I’ve seen a few conversations recently in PDA Facebook groups where parents are trying to figure out whether what they’re seeing is PDA, or whether it’s another kind of avoidance. It got me reflecting on what that difference feels like in my own life,
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Some weeks just take everything you’ve got A couple of years ago, we went to a family event. I did all the prep – made accommodations, had a plan. My child seemed to manage well at the time. Smiling. Chatting. Joining in. But on the way home, everything fell apart. That’s the bit people don’t
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Not every parent is looking forward to summer Let’s have an honest conversation. Not all parents are happy or excited about the school holidays. For some, they bring dread. Panic. That rising anxiety as you wonder how you’re going to get through the next six weeks. It doesn’t matter whether your child is currently in
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Why tricks don’t work – and what really does Yesterday morning I was lucky. My husband did the school run, which meant I had a little pocket of time to myself – a rare thing. So I decided to walk the dogs. As I walked, I took some slow, deep breaths and ran through one
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When your child needs your nervous system to cope I used to joke that I couldn’t even go to the loo without a small shadow following me. But it wasn’t really funny. My child, who has a PDA profile, relied on me as their external nervous system. They needed constant engagement to feel safe. Unless
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